It's Friday you know what that means!!!!!!!!

Submitted: Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 10:51
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> BURIAL AT SEA
> Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all
his life, to bury him at sea when he died.
> Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise.
> They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto
their row boat.
> After a while Mick says, 'Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?'
> without a word Paddy slips over the side only to find himself standing in water up
to his knees.
> 'Dis'll never do, Mick. Let's row some more.'
> after a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only up
to his belly, so they row on.
> Again Mick asks Paddy, 'Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?'
> Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No dis'll neva
do.' The water was only up to his chest.
> So on they row and row and row and finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears.
> Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state
when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath.
> 'Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?'
> WAIT FOR IT
> 'Aye 'tis,
> NOW hand me dat shovel.'
>
Dunc
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Reply By: Life Member - Duncan W (WA) - Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 10:53

Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 10:53
Subject:
>> The young banker
>>
>>
>>
>> A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit.
>>
>> So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit.
>>
>> A week later he went in for his first fitting.
>>
>> He put on the suit and he looked fabulous, he felt that in this suit he can do
business.
>>
>>
>> As he was preening himself in front of the mirror, he reached down to put his
hands in the pockets and to his surprise, he noticed that there were no pockets.
>>
>> He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a
banker?"
>>
>> The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
>>
>> To this, the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own
pockets?"
Dunc
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AnswerID: 621536

Reply By: Member - bill j (VIC) - Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 11:02

Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 11:02
British humour as it used to be

During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree. spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".

Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low.

An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Rotherham much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.It seems that a caller dialled 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line”

Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements

It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to usewatercannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds from running.-

A Liverpool girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator.

The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take that red one.”

The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher.

Police in Liverpool last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 20 tons of heroin, £5 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Toxteth.

Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman said: “We’re all really shocked; we never knew we had a library."

Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during sex?

A. A bus shelter.

Q. There are two Liverpool girls in a car without any music - who is driving?

A. The policewoman

Q. What’s the most confusing day in Liverpool ?

A. Father’s day

Q. How do people know Jesus wasn’t born in Liverpool ?

A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!


Living like a millionaire on the pension

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AnswerID: 621537

Reply By: Member - bill j (VIC) - Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 11:10

Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 11:10
pussy

https://youtu.be/AcwW2L0rCN4
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AnswerID: 621538

Reply By: Gerard S - Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 12:36

Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 12:36
AnswerID: 621542

Reply By: Gerard S - Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 14:20

Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 14:20
AnswerID: 621544

Reply By: Member - torro - Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 17:16

Friday, Oct 12, 2018 at 17:16
The Irish

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her Stammerer's Action Group.

She had tried every technique in the book, but still they stammered and stuttered.
Finally, totally exasperated, she said;

"If any of you can tell me where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your
muscles ache and your eyes water."

The Englishman immediately piped up;
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham", he said.

"That's no use, Trevor," said the speech therapist, "Who's next?"

The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out:
"G-g-g-g-g-g-gl-lasgow".

That's no better either, Hamish.

Now, how about you, Paddy?

The Irishman took a deep breath, counted to 5 and eventually blurted out: " London ".

"Brilliant, Paddy", said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.

After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said:

.........

......"d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- erry"
AnswerID: 621549

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