I think I might have screwed up. Several of us local older sailors were asked to address a junior high gathering put on by the PTA.
I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself.
I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions.
The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?"
I said, "That's an easy one. Looking back over my almost 7 decades, I believe I've spent close to 90% of my earnings on booze and whores. The rest I just wasted."
I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:
If it flies, floats, or bleep s, it's cheaper to rent it.
If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems with it.
I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish.
They need to know this stuff!
...........,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,...............
During a dull
Parliament House dinner, Chloe Shorten, the wife of the Leader of the Opposition, leaned over to chat with Governor- General Cosgrove
"I bought Bill a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Bill has already taught him to say over two hundred words!"
“Very impressive," said Cosgrove, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean.”
"Oh, I know", replied Chloe, “but neither does the parrot."
...............,,,,,,,,,,,, ...............